Modern culture teaches that feelings are a design error, that anger, sadness, and fear are 'negative', 'bad', 'wrong', 'childish', and have no place in human life. Furthermore, feelings should be avoided, suppressed, withheld, and controlled... with psychopharmaceuticals if necessary. Modern culture regards joy as the only 'good' feeling, but only in moderation.
Through delivering thousands of healing and adulthood initiatory processes especially during the past two decades we have discovered that the emotional teachings from modern culture are not true. In fact, modern culture's teachings are SO not true that they may cause serious diseases such as Parkinson's, Depression, Inflammatory diseases, and even cancer. One may begin to wonder why modern culture would would make the suppression of feelings and the banishment of authentic initiations some of its central characteristics.
Around 1991 we discovered Valerie Lankford's profound Thoughtmap of 4 Feelings. Valerie's map shows how the complete feelings spectrum is created out of mixtures of anger, sadness, fear, and joy, just like Leonardo da Vinci painted his Mona Lisa by mixing primary colors.
Your relationship to your feelings changes entirely depending upon if you stick to the Old Thoughtmap of Feelings (where it is not okay to feel), or you shift to the New Thoughtmap of Feelings (where feelings are neutral energy and information resources empowering you in a creative, ecstatic, and relationally-intimate adult life).
Identifying the sensations, body postures, facial expressions, and sounds of each of the four primary Feelings makes the Emotional Body and the domain of Feelings understandable and tame enough even for the men to navigate!
It is so liberating to memorize and use the sentence, "I feel mad, sad, glad, or scared because _____________."
Your clear, responsible communication helps you feel heard, and it helps the other person feel safe enough to be with you whatever you are feeling. So many incomplete and broken communications can be suddenly healed.
FEELINGS: Feelings come into your awareness (anger, sadness, fear, joy) on the New Thoughtmap of Feelings to start things, Stop things, change things, Hold Space, listen, connect, accept, grieve, pay attention, stay alert, celebrate, empower others, be proactive, organize teams, build gameworlds. You have Feelings in the ADULT EGO STATE, where you have a small NOW, a small HERE, and a small YOU (meaning when you have almost no voices in your head, a state that is the Doorway to the ARCHETYPAL EGO STATE. The Archetypal Ego State is required to create the kind of energetic 5 Body Intimacy chambers needed to explore the Archetypal Domains and make 5 Body Intimacy Journeys. You use your Feelings and then they vanish from your experience in less than 3 minutes.
EMOTIONS: Emotions feel the same as Feelings at first (anger, sadness, fear, joy, or mixed (HINT: If you experience mixes such as aggression, depression, guilt, shame, disgust, resentment, jealousy, sentimentality, hysteria, schadenfreude, you can be sure these are Emotions and not Feelings) but when you try to use them, nothing actually changes. This is because Emotions do not come from the present moment and do not have anything to do with the person in front of you or your current circumstances. You try to use your Emotions, but nothing actually changes, and they last longer than 3 minutes in your experience. Did you ever feel angry, sad, glad, scared, or a mixed emotion for an hour? A day? A week? These are not Feelings. They are Emotions.
In short: Feelings are for handling things. Emotions are for healing things.
EMOTIONAL REACTIVITY IS NOT STELLATING
Emotional Reactivity such as rage-fit, panic-attack, unstoppable sobbing, or hysterical laughter are not Stellating, because such outbursts are unconscious. Throwing dishes, slamming doors, kicking the dog, driving away in a huff, binging on sweets, going for alcohol or weed... is not Conscious Feelings.
Reactivity from a Button, Hook, Trigger, Trauma, or Imbalance is mechanical. If we give you the same stimulus you give us the same reaction, every time. For your Gremlin, this never gets boring. For your Being, this is a desperate life.
Stellating starts in the ADULT EGO STATE and, when successful, enters the ARCHETYPAL EGO STATE.
Emotions are stimulated by beliefs, stories, dogma, gossip, conclusions, assumptions, intrigue, and projections from 4 external Authorities that hang together as four of your six Ego States:
CHILD EGO STATE: Where you experience Incomplete Emotions from your childhood. This could be looking for someone to love you enough, feeling abandoned, feeling betrayed, feeling a lack of trust, complaining, blaming, feeling unprotected, alone, and scared... trying to manipulate others to want you and take care of you through being cute or sexy or helpless... this is your Child Ego State.
PARENT EGO STATE: Where you adopt other people's Emotions as if they are true, as if they are the 'one right way'. Your Parent Emotions originate in corporate marketing campaigns, religious beliefs, parents rules, political campaigns, or society's news media. Being in the Parent Ego State is when you are armed with knowing the 'right' way, knowing 'better', enforcing on others the rules you have hated.
GREMLIN EGO STATE: Where your purpose originates in the Shadow Principles of your Gremlin, such as revenge, superiority, deception, making wrong, belittling, betrayal, withholding, self-hatred, arrogance, etc. Your schadenfreude ecstasy confirms that you are in your Gremlin Ego State.
DEMON EGO STATE: Where you invite 'Riders' (energetic vampire entities) to attach themselves to your Being and suck out your life energy. This is a survival strategy. The Riders make you weak and confused so that others do not perceive you as dangerous and decide to 'kill' you. If you do not begin your authentic adulthood initiatory processes when you are 18 years old, the Mixed Emotions of depression and despair might feel normal for you. Keeping such persistent parasites on your neck can lead to hopelessness, listlessness, and suicide. No one can banish Riders for you. No one can stop you from banishing Riders and closing the Café whenever you get sick of it. (Please see SPARK 135 for further precisions.)
THE NEW THOUGHTMAP OF FEELINGS
In the new world established by the New Thoughtmap of Feelings you have new Possibilities.
For example, you can calibrate your Feelings Detector - located as a dial in the center of your chest - so that you can accurately detect which feeling you are feeling, what percentage big it is up to 100% maximum archetypal intensity, what it is about, and if it is a Feeling or an Emotion.
When you know what you are feeling and you make contact with someone else, you know what they are feeling. This is the beginning of Emotional Body intimacy.
You notice that all day and all night you are actually feeling angry, sad, glad, and scared about every single object, word, sound, image, movement, plant, animal, thought, and feeling. With your new distinctions you can navigate your Emotional Body experiences like a surfer navigates waves.
As you lower your Numbness Bar and perceive the Low Level Feelings and Emotions (from 1% to 10% intense), you discover that you can make decisions, plans, boundaries, and offers using the wisdom and energy without having to emotionally explode, run away, shut down, or freak out.
The information and energy of your 4 Feelings becomes a powerful creative resource for you to use in your daily life both personally and professionally.
And still something more is possible. We did not see this coming...
Around 2010 in Germany we discovered Stellating!
Ho, man! This is something utterly remarkable.
The term 'Stellating' means 'to change a planet into a star'.
The difference between a planet and a star is that a planet absorbs more energy than it gives off, whereas a star radiates more energy than it absorbs.
Human beings are designed to be 'stars', but we are conditioned to be 'planets'.
Think of the abundant and coercive ways you are invited to be a 'planet' with 'soldier-like' qualities:
Orbit around external authority.
Remain calm, cool, and collected.
Wait around, like a Victim.
...it's all about me.
Now think of the extraordinary potentials packed inside your Being that you long to radiate as a 'star' (not a 'movie star' or 'rock star', but a star that is a source of life energy for serving your people):
Be humble and invisible.
...it's all about creating.
The transformation from being a 'planet' to being a 'star' is entire.
Your purpose changes, paradigm changes, strategy changes, vision of what is possible changes. The procedure is fully engaging. The star comes into existence as the planet starts on fire from the inside out. It can be intense... intensely Fun. Stellating is authentic adventure.
Nobody can Stellate for you. Nobody can stop you from Stellating.
In Possibility Management we deliver Stellating in the particularly-safe-and-clear spaces of Possibility Labs. There you have a trained spaceholder - a Trainer - who has already Stellated her four feelings archetypes and brought to life the Pirate Sorceress Warrioress Queen Goddess Woman in herself (Pirate Magician King Spiritual Warrior Man). This is what is holding and navigating space for your authentic adulthood initiatory process of Stellating. It is fantastic to be in that space.
The transformation in Stellating Anger, for example, occurs in the moment you consciously experience and express 100% maximum Archetypal Anger in a held space with a trained witness (Trainer) for no reason for as long as you want. In that moment, when you are 'out of your mind', your entire nervous system changes its Point Of Origin. It re-anchors from the mediocre world to the extraordinary world.
The archetypal territory of Anger is inside of you. It always has been. It always will be.
You go into the territory of Anger and the anger for no reason. Then you stop the anger for no reason. It is as loud and dangerous as being personally attacked and torn apart by Godzilla. If it is not loud and painful, you are not doing it... you are only thinking about doing it. No cigar.
Anger (as well as sadness, fear, and joy) does not get bigger than 100% big. How could it?
When you dive 100% into the archetypal territory of Anger inside of you and the Archetypal Force of Anger rips through your nerves, heart, lungs, the veins in your neck and the roar from your throat, the Archetypal Switch flips to ON, for the rest of your life. From that moment on, you contain the Anger. It does not contain you. You own your Anger. Is does not own you. You are bigger than Archetypal Anger. It is not bigger than you.
Even at 100% intense Archetypal Anger you are okay. You can go into that territory any time you want, in an instant. And stop, when you want, in an instant. This is a Feeling, not an Emotion.
After Stellating Anger, go for Stellating Fear, so you can own your fear and your fear no longer owns you. You can dive completely into 100% Archetypal Fear and be totally okay. Same with Sadness, and Joy.
Perhaps one day - if it is your calling - you can return the favor by holding and navigating Stellating for others.
Think of the 7 billion uninitiated humans on planet Earth. There are plenty of Clients waiting for you to show up and do your job for them. You do not have to spend the days of your life working for a corporation to live on planet Earth. You could actually use the days of your life doing what you came here to do.
It can help to know that what you expected to find here when you were born, is what you came here to build.
It could also help you to know that Stellating your 4 Feelings gives you needed resources to do what you came here to do, no matter how big it is. Stellating unleashes you as a an Archetypal Force of Nature. Why not do this? It is your human birth right.
THE FEELINGS ARCHETYPES
NOTE: The use of the word 'Archetype' in Possibility Management has no connection to the Jungian / Freudian Psychoanalytical Context. We use the word 'Archetype' as it comes from the context of Possibility and Radical Responsibility. The two uses are not related.
Learning about Stellating is not Stellating. What you can understand is third prize, more of a curiosity, a remarkable thing. Do not think that understanding a thing is the thing.
Each Stellating process initiates an Archetypal structure that has been dormant in you since birth, a 'Feelings Archetype'. Until they are Stellated, your 4 Feelings Archetypes are still wrapped in plastic. The batteries are not installed. The Archetypes are not turned on yet. Each successful Stellating initiation brings one more of your 4 Feelings Archetypes online in your daily life, for the rest of your life.
Stellating Anger ignites the Warrioress / Warrior Feelings Archetype in you.
Stellating Sadness ignites the Lover / Communicator Feelings Archetype in you.
Stellating Fear ignites the Sorceress / Wizard Feelings Archetype in you.
Stellating Joy ignites the Possibilitator / Good Queen / Good King Feelings Archetype in you.
Trying to describe to you the experience of Being, for example, a stellated Warrioress / Warrior, would, at this point, be counterproductive. Whatever image you received from my description could easily be held onto by your Box / Gremlin as a barrier against finding your own experience. Then you would compare and judge your own experience. You would analyze with your mind to try to force your own experience to match the picture you have of how it should be. The experience of Warrioress / Warrior DOES NOT OCCUR IN YOUR MIND.
I leave it like this. The Doorway is open. You are standing there... somewhere... far away from the Doorway? Within one arm's reach of the Doorway? What are you going to do about it?
We will see...
Phase 1 & Phase 2 of Feelings Work
PHASE 1 OF FEELINGS WORK
Phase 1 of feelings work is expanding your abilities to consciously feel.
Distinguish and NAME OUT LOUD in each moment (or in your Beep! Book) your ongoing Feelings and Emotions. (Keep them separate, even in your experience of them!)
Distinguish and possibly NAME OUT LOUD in each moment (as a Metaconversation) the Feelings and Emotions of others. (Stop confusing Feelings and Emotions in others. Mostly people unconsciously feel Emotions and live in Reactivity. You can still be you while they be their hurt child, scolding parent, devious Gremlin, Zombie Citizen, etc. You do not have to join them in adaptively being what they are being. You can still love, respect, and communicate clearly with them without being like them. This is one of the great joys of being a Possibilitator.)
Calibrate your Feelings Detector from 0% intensity to 100% intensity for each of the 4 Feelings: anger, sadness, fear, and joy.
Consciously experience and ongoingly, day and night, home and at work, in private and in public, apply the intelligence and energy of your Low Level Feelings. These are YOUR resources.
Stellate Joy. PLEASE REMEMBER:The evolution of consciousness has a speed limit. To sustainably Stellate your 4 Feelings Archetypes and integrate them actively into you daily life takes between 2 to 4 years of ecstatic dedication, Liquid States, Phoenix Processes. People who commit to this Path often say, "These have been the best years of my life, so far!"
Put your Gremlin at your side as an ally with all of his or her Reconstructed Parts (the Gremlin Reconstruction Process).
Make for yourself a life centered around authentic adulthood Initiations, rather than, for example, making your life around having a nice house, having a lot of health insurance, having a yard and a dog, having a nice car, having all inclusive vacations, and shrinking yourself so small and crippled as to stay within the Standard Human Intelligence Thoughtware: 'I need money to live'. No one (truly, NO ONE!) is stopping you from replacing S.H.I.T. thoughtware with next culture (archearchal) thoughtware. For example, you could replace, 'I need money to live', with, 'I need to ongoingly build more Matrix to live', or, 'I need ongoing authentic adulthood initiations to live', or, 'I need to be ongoingly building and practicing my Sorceress / Wizard skills to live'.
Stellating Fear is a Floor Process Initiation where the client lies alone on the floor and drops into the Archetypal Territory of Fear that has always been there inside of them.
For qualified Trainers - meaning Trainers who have already Stellated their Feeling Archetypes in Possibility Labs - the Stellating Fear process write-up is available at the PM Processes website.
We suggest Stellating Sadness after Stellating Anger and Fear, because whereas Stellating Anger and Stellating Fear can be 'hard' or 'sharp' experiences, Stellating Sadness is such a soft and fluid experience.
Stellating Sadness activates the Lover / Communicatorin your life. This is when deep, non-enmeshed connection is established as a collaboration for making, for example, 5 Body Intimacy Journeys into Archetypal Domains to bring back treasures that change the status quo.
If you cannot grieve and let go of your current identity, you won't have much chance of evolving and expanding into the initiated interactions of adulthood.
Preparations for Stellating Sadness include Box and Being Initiation, Box Is Optional Initiation, as well as completing victimhood relations to parents, society, and circumstances. This removes the motivation for defendedness. Stellating Sadness starts with personally navigating to undefendedness in the Presence of another. This is whole group process done in chairs in pairs, or in concentric circles of chairs all facing out with shoulders touching or arms interlinked.
For qualified Trainers - meaning Trainers who have already Stellated their Feeling Archetypes in Possibility Labs - the Stellating Sadness process write-up is available at the PM Processes website.
Our experience suggests the importance of Stellating Anger, Fear, and Sadness before trying to Stellate Joy.
This is because after Stellating Anger, Fear, and Sadness, Joy seems to spontaneously Stellate almost without effort.
Stellated Joy does not look like the fake forced joy shown on television talk shows or sports events. Joy often emerges in nearly-invisible ecstatic moments, one after the other in your daily life, that is, when you permit it.
We had to invent the term 'Possibilitator' as the name for a Stellated Radically Responsible High Drama Being serving Bright Principles.
Modern culture has so many words for unconscious Gremlin serving Shadow Principles: villain, terrorist, money-launderer, drug dealer, sex trafficker, corporate manager, thief, scam artist, priest, spammer, banker, politician, murderer, mercenary, assassin, pedophile, lawyer... Even a majority of the United States Supreme Court Justices are owned by corporate interests. But we have few words for servants of Bright Principles...
Stellating Joy is a whole group circle process done in a totally chaotic but safely held space. Why is this? Because when feelings are Stellated they ignite at the level of maturity they were when you turned them off. This means what comes back first is their unconscious irresponsible expression.
For Anger this is aggression, blaming, revenge.
For Fear this is panic, withdrawal, paralysis.
For Sadness this is a helpless child drowning in the endless ocean of sobs.
For Joy... irresponsible joy comes back first, joy at the pain and suffering of others. Ha-Ha! I win! You lose! Gotcha! That's right. Stellating Joy unleashes at first a roomful of powerful, insanely irresponsible Gremlins. It is a very tricky space to hold effectively. Perhaps that is why Stellating Joy is such a rare initiation in Possibility Labs.
For qualified Trainers - meaning Trainers who have already Stellated their Feeling Archetypes in Possibility Labs - the Stellating Joy process write-up is available at the PM Processes website.